Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for The Bachelorette… because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly unromantic nerds deserve love too.
On last week’s After the Final Rose special we learned who the next star of the Bachelor franchise would be: Welcome Bachelorette JoJo. Of course, I have opinions to spare on this selection. I’m a big fan of the Pro & Con Lists, so let’s break it all down to see whether JoJo will give us the season of The Bachelorette we all deserve (especially after watching weeks of Vanilla Bachelor Ben).
Pro: She has a Personality
After Vanilla Ben chose Vanilla Lauren I am desperate for some spice. Yes Ben did a great job of renewing our faith in The Bachelor and how we could make it through a season without hating everything about the central ‘Prince Charming’, but he did it at the expense of excitement. The dual ‘I Love You’ scenario was not enough to make up for how much less drama he inspired than Farmer Chris or Juan Pablo. I trust JoJo to stir the pot a bit; she’s bound to make her men a little crazy. And even if she’s not ideal, she’s better than alternatives of Vanilla Caila & Beige Amanda.
Con: She’s not Ashley I
As much as JoJo will add a bit of color to a white-washed year of this show, she’s still no Ashley I. Last year My Fangirl Life publicly stated our position on #TeamAshleyIforBachelorette. We have not given up on this. She is an iconic member of the Bachelor Family and she deserves her time in the spotlight. No only do we want her to finally find her one true love (and for her to get over Jared, who appears to be stringing her along whilst not actually being that interested), but I know that she would bring the fight, fire, water-works, and sass that we all hope to see from a strong Bachelorette.
Pro: Her Family is Totes Cray
Remember JoJo’s hometown date? I do. I remember it so fondly. It was the most drama-filled part of the entire season. First there was the love letter from her ex… which she had to get through a full page of before she realized it wasn’t from Ben. And then we met her insane family. Remember how her brothers attacked Ben? The one accused him of have the girls brainwashed? (And this was after the guy had competed on a cheap Bachelor rip-off show!) And her mom guzzling wine straight out of the bottle? Those were the good times… good times I hope to see repeated.
Con: Shouldn’t she be Heartbroken?
I am adamantly opposed to the runner-up being the next Bachelor(ette). I am riddled with doubts about the validity of relationships forged on this show, and yet even I find that making your ‘first loser’ into your next star cheapens the ending. Isn’t JoJo supposed to be heartbroken? They are trying to sell the connection between the Bachelor & his finalist as real, yet I’m also supposed to believe that JoJo is just fine to throw herself into it again already? I like the idea of the second place finisher needing time… time to lick her wounds and get over the rejection she faced on National television. But instead it appears that her connection with Ben was fleeting – momentary and easy to recover from. And that’s without even touching on the fact that she, the woman who was blindsided & dumped in front of the entire world, is fine with doing the same thing to another man (actually more than a dozen other men) six months later. It’s all a bit hard to swallow and leaves me with a bitter aftertaste.
The Verdict: I don’t think I’ll mind Bachelorette JoJo… I just wish she’d been 3rd or 4th on Bachelor Ben’s season.
Until next week (because Tuesday Walk of Shame will keep going strong until the next episode)…
Love & Luck,
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