Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently. Vote Kris for The Bachelorette… because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly unromantic nerds deserve love too.
Welcome to a series crossover here on My Fangirl Life!!! Not only is it Tuesday Walk of Shame but I’m mixing in some I Ship That love as well. Time for romance & drama with an extra shot of romance & drama…
I started watching The Bachelor out of spite. Well, not originally. Originally I watched it because I lived at home and my mom wanted to. Her house, her remote. But when I made the choice as an adult, living on my own and in control of my own television set, to begin spending my precious free time tuning in to the various programs in the Bachelor family it was purely to mock the heck out of it. I even joined a weekly viewing party to share my ridicule with others. I started writing Tuesday Walk of Shame for similar reasons; it was honestly a joke…until it wasn’t. Soon it was a thing and I was watching The Bachelor each week on my own (because of my remote location, not by choice), then spending hours of my life writing about it. At least I could hold on to a shred of my dignity by channelling my mockery, previously shared with my Bachelor Nation friends during laughter-filled Bachelor nights, into my writing. I could post things like: TWoS: Bachelorette Edition – Duck Duck Douche, TWoS: Bachelor in Paradise – Let the awfulness begin…, and TWoS: Is It Normal To Start Hating The Bachelor?. The names say it all: I didn’t believe in the process. I was forever the skeptic. I even wrote a post with all of the math & stats to back it up: TWoS: Who’s Still Together? The Bachelor Facts & Figures.
And then Janner happened.
Technically, Tanner happened first. My special little snowflake ❄️. He was hardly the star of Kaitlyn’s season of The Bachelorette but he stole the show for me. He was hilarious and adorable and perfect and unique…juts like a snowflake. But, unlike Ben H who totally won me over to Team #BenHforBachelor and had me considering auditioning to be a contestant, I didn’t feel like Tanner should be the Bachelor (or with me, for that matter). I just wanted him to be happy and appreciated.
Enter Bachelor in Paradise, a shit-show of a television program. A booze-soaked disaster parading as a match-maker. A place where Tanner later admitted he was planning on going for a 2 week party, not in search of real love. Then he saw Jade. At first I was hesitant; would this vixen break my special snowflake’s heart ❄️❤️? But no…Jade was not a vixen. Yes, she had some questionable activities in her past (re: being an amateur Playboy model) but she had always seemed genuine, sweet, & down-to-earth. Could my boy have found “The One”? And here lie the real problem: (a) I had considered someone finding true love on a Bachelor program, and (b) I cared about the outcome.
What had Jade & Tanner done to me? What is Janner still doing to me? They were just so gosh-darn cute. And they continue to be.
One of my biggest anti-Bachelor arguments is that the couples are assembled so quickly and in such a fantastical environment that there is no way they’ll have success when they transition into the real world. You watch they’re every move on television for a few months and then are thrust into a black hole of nothingness. We are left wondering if our newly formed OTPs are ok out there in the harsh world. But we don’t hear anything…not until the tabloids report on their inevitable breakup. But this isn’t the case with Janner. Nope. Since the moment the Bachelor in Paradise finale aired and the fate of Jade & Tanner was revealed to the world Tanner has given us a constant feed of pictures documenting his perfect love story. Almost every picture he posts on Instagram focused on his love for Jade and it is amazing. Amazing! Seriously…look at this…
In conclusion, let’s raise a glass…?ﾟﾍﾸ?ﾟﾍﾺ…Here’s to Jade & Tanner, a Bachelor couple I actually believe in & hope will stay together forever!
Love & Luck,