Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor (or its various spin-offs) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for The Bachelorette… because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly unromantic nerds deserve love too.
Dear Walk of Shamers,
I apologize in advance for this week’s post being so short. I had big plans to start pre-judging today. That is where I rate & rank each contestant before the show even begins, based purely on their online bios (see an old edition here). I planned to stretch it out over the next two weeks, dividing it into digestible chunks and building that anticipation for the May 19th premiere. But alas, The Producers seem to insist on keeping us in the dark! When will the big reveal of Kaitlyn/Britt’s handsome princes happen? Don’t tell me I will see them for the first time on premiere night?!?! How will I have preconceived notions of who I like and who’s a douche formed??? Come on Producers…don’t make me go digging through the spoiler-filled internet for contestant bios. And what if my friends and I were doing a Bachelorette pool? Sure you could pick after the first episode but isn’t part of the fun of a Bachelor Fantasy Draft the risk of all of your team being sent home the first week. In conclusion, shape up Producers…and readers, I am sorry for either (a) not being able to give you a snark-filled, overly-judgmental preview of the men or (b) for having to fit all of that sass into only one post next week.
All we got from The Producers this week was this photo:
I’m not in love with Kaitlyn’s dress, but WTF is Britt wearing? Add this to the list of why I’m #TeamKaitlyn. (For more reasons check out TWoS: 11 Times Kaitlyn will be better than Britt.)