Have you ever checked what embarrassing things live in your Google Search History? You should. I promise you it is worth your while… a horrifying yet hilarious experience. I recently scrolled through the last 4 years of my internet life and found it a thoroughly accurate glimpse into who I am… which obviously meant I needed to share it with all of you. I’m not going to share the entire list (it would mean a lot of sifting through junk to find the humour) but I will give you a taste of the highs & lows, the “so very me” searches and the queries that are oh-so-embarrassing (not like that… get your mind out of the gutter!). And, at the end, I’ll give you quick ‘How To’ for getting your own search history list!
I am a curious person. It means that I Google a lot. Sometimes it’s “What are basketballs made of?“. Other times it’s “Fun Dinosaur Facts“. I always looking to learn. Some other totally legit inquiries include:
- “How many official languages does Switzerland have?”
4: German, French, Italian, Romansh
- “How many keys does a standard keyboard have?”
101 or 104, depending on the manufacturer
- “Names of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan”
Tootles, Nibs, Slightly, Curly & the Twins (who apparently didn’t get names)
- “What is the douchiest animal?”
This is up for debate… Eagle? Buffalo? Hummingbird? Everyone has an opinion.
Some of my searches seem pretty random but have perfectly reasonable explanations:
- “Arkansas Zip Codes”
I was trying to sign up for something which was not offered to Canadians… obviously I chose to be from Arkansas when picking an American location and wanted to make sure the location I picked was a lovely & welcoming community.
- “How does Stark Tower fit into the New York skyline?”
Justine & I were headed to NYC for a vacation & wanted to be able to spot the Avengers base… or at least where it should be.
- “Offerings to appease Zeus”
After almost being struck by lightning a 3rd time I needed to figure out how to make things right with the man upstairs… I wrote a blog post about it: How To Not Be Struck By Lightning.
- “What do you call tank tops with extra-large arm holes?”
Because what do you call tank tops with extra-large arm holes??? I never found a proper answer. (Let me know in the comments if you have any ideas!)
- “Do I look like Prince Harry?” and “Face Comparison Online”
Remember that awful show I Wanna Marry Harry? No? Don’t worry, you’re not missing much. Girls were vying for the heart of a Prince Harry look-a-like while thinking it was actually the Prince himself. It was awful, but left me wondering how much I looked like Harry… the guy on the show was a ‘99% match’ apparently. Spoiler Alert, my resemblance to Prince Harry is weak at best… although the strongest out of any member of the My Fangirl Life Team.
Then other times I have absolutely no excuse for searching something, like my most embarrassing search: “How to take a screenshot on a Mac“. Why is it embarrassing? you ask. It seems perfectly normal. It’s not the search itself; it’s the fact that I’ve searched it at least 12 time in the last 4 years. You think I’d remember!?!?! (P.S. I Googled how to take a screenshot on a Mac AGAIN for the pictures at the end of this post.)
But I know what you’re really wondering about are my fandom searches; the questions that show I’m a real fangirl. A few of my favourites include:
- “Most Well Thought Out Pretty Little Liars Theories”
Because we all know there is still an Uber A out there controlling CeCe’s Big A.
- “Edmonton Lightsaber Training”
Don’t laugh, this is a real thing in our city.
- “Jurassic World Evacuation Plan”
Because there is no way someone build an amusement park with live dinosaurs on an isolated island and didn’t think through a plan of how to get everyone off (or at least to safety) should one of these ferocious beasts escape. There HAS to be a boat parked out back waiting to evacuate the poor tourists. I just wanted to know other people’s theories.
- “pinkie pie cupcakes patchwork cutie marks what is this?”
A subsection of the Brony fandom I wish I’d never ventured into…
- Also on the MLP front: “Nightmare Moon Hurting Ponies”
Obviously I wanted to send this to my friends. We all know KG uses Pinkie Pie pics like emojis so I wanted to respond with my ‘spirit pony’ (Luna… although more specifically Nightmare Moon) reacting in an appropriate way.
- “Aaron Carter 2015”
Don’t tell me you’re not curious what the boy who beat Shaq looks like these days.
And sometimes I get stuck on one fandom in particular… as the writer of Tuesday Walk of Shame this can often be The Bachelor. I have to do research for my posts; asking hard-hitting questions like:
- “Does Bachelorette Desiree have a book?“
- “Kaitlyn Bristol Net Worth“
- “Clint and JJ Couple Name“
Although if I’m getting over-involved in anything there is good chance it’s gonna be One Direction. I am apparently really nosy about 1D (And we won’t even talk about the multiple times there is just an image search for “Louis Tomlinson” with nothing related surrounding it).
- “One Direction Gossip“
- “Zayn and Louis Smoking Weed“
- “Did Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder break up?“
- “Is Liam Payne engaged?“
- “Niall Horan Girlfriend“
- “Harry Styles Death Threats“
- “One Direction Photoshoot without Zayn“
- “One Direction Hogwarts Houses“
- “What percentage of time does each member of One Direction sing?“
- “How much did Zayn have to pay to get out of One Direction mid-tour?“
But perhaps the weirdest obsession I have is searching how tall people are. Not just One Direction but everyone and any one: Harry Styles – Luke Hemmings – Tom Cruise – Taylor Swift – and my all time favourite:
- “How tall is the black guy from Maroon 5?”
This is important stuff to know guys.
But I promised a ‘How To‘! I’m sure at this point you are bursting with curiosity as to what your best searches of all time are. Here’s how you do it:
It’s that easy! Happy browsing & let me know some of your best queries are in the comments!
Love & Luck,