Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for The Bachelorette… because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly unromantic nerds deserve love too.
Hello everyone and welcome to the new season of The Bachelorette! Kris isn’t able to write this week so I’ve taken over to tell you my thoughts on the very first episode. Don’t worry, she’ll be back next week with her regular Tuesday Walk of Shame, but hopefully this can tide you over. Let’s talk about Bachelorette JoJo’s premiere!
I’ve just finished the inaugural episode of the new season, and so far, I think I’m going to like it. I wasn’t the hugest fan of JoJo on last season of The Bachelor, but I think she seems fun and real when stepping into the shoes of The Bachelorette, and I think I’m going to really like some of her men. But more on that in a minute. First let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:
1.?ﾟﾌﾹ? Meeting Jordan for the first time… and I don’t just mean for Jojo, I mean for us. Our viewing party group collectively swooned over this guy and apparently Jojo agreed. After all, she awarded him the first impression rose.
2. ?ﾟﾍﾾ? Robby giving Jojo a bottle of wine: “It’s the family tradition right? Drinking right out of the bottle?”. JoJo: “My Mom will like him.” Yes JoJo, we think she will.
3. ?ﾟﾏﾻ?ﾟﾍﾻ Daniel. Just in general. I have so many questions… why was his occupation “Canadian”? Why did he feel the need to strip down and jump in the pool (wait… I might have answered that after finding his instagram account. Turns out he’s pretty into himself shirtless).
4. ? ❤️? Wells with the win! Bringing All-4-One was a classy move. Yeah, I was pretty into that.
5.?ﾟﾘﾅ? The Bachelor superfan is intense. I’m not sure they should allow superfans to also be contestants. I was legitimately concerned this guy was going to go into some sort of overload when he was getting ready to talk to Chris Harrison during the end clip.
And now for some more general comments on the men:
I won’t fully rank them, since I feel like that is Kris’s job and we might have totally different opinions. Wouldn’t want to skew her rankings or anything! That being said, I will tell you that I’m pretty into Jordan, Luke, Wells, and James T. I’m calling it now. Luke wins, Jordan will be the next Bachelor, and Wells and James T. make it close to the end but go home heartbroken. And on the opposite note, Chad feels very #VillainsGottaVill to me. That’s not necessarily a bad thing (Clint and JJ are some of my favourite previous Bachelorette contestants to follow nowadays), though it probably won’t bode well for his time on the show.
But here’s what I really want to talk about. Why can’t the Producers bring in any awesome Canadian men?
I swear, every time they get a Canadian on The Bachelorette, they are the most awkward, strange individuals. The Producers have had some luck with Canadian women. After all, previous Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe is a BC/Alberta girl, and people absolutely adored her. We’ve also had Sharleen Joynt and Jillian Harris, to name some Canadian female contestants of note. So why are the men always so strange?
This year we had Jonathan and Daniel. Jonathan tried to be relevant by wearing a kilt (is this a thing? Does this make you more awesome?), but it wasn’t good enough to make it through to the next round. Then there’s Daniel. He was too drunk, self-obsessed, and barely even spoke to JoJo. How on earth did he get a rose? I’m thinking this was a Producer pick… but hopefully he doesn’t stick around long.
Come on, Bachelor Producers! Give us Canadians a better name. There are good guys here too.
What did you think of Bachelorette JoJo’s premiere? Kris will be back next week to kick off her thoughts on this season of The Bachelorette, but in the meantime, we’d love to chat in the comments!