Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for The Bachelorette… because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly unromantic nerds deserve love too.
Another season of The Bachelor has come & gone. Another man has found a potential wife. Another relationship hangs in the balance…will they last forever? Or will they be broken up within weeks? Anything is possible…although, at least they’re still together now. It’s not surprising though, since they are the most vanilla couple ever. But more on that in a minute, first let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:
1. 😳😮😒 Chris Harrison promised us “the most dramatic finale ever,” but I thought it fell short. The second last episode was much more dramatic.
2. 😭🚽🛁 That being said, I LOVED the scene with JoJo crying on the bathroom floor. I know we couldn’t see her but I like to imagine she was crumpled on the ground across from the toilet, mascara running down her cheeks. It was so perfectly done that I am almost certain it was staged, except I doubt that JoJo & Ben are that good of actors.
3. 😍😳😭 BUT why was JoJo crying not he bathroom floor? Yes, it’s dramatic…but as dramatic as a completely confident woman being sent home? I think not. Every girl knows that the Bachelor cannot say “I Love You” so both women should have been certain they were winning. If neither had even entertained doubt it would have been crazy to see how the loser would have reacted.
4. 🚫👎🏻❌ Chris Harrison tried to pressure Ben & Lauren into getting married on After the Final Rose. I always claim to not be invested in the outcomes and I occasionally cheer for the manufactured couples to split up, but all I could think was “Please don’t do it! Please noooooo.” They may be destined to break-up but let’s avoid a messy divorce.
5. 🤔💔🙄 JoJo is the new Bachelorette…really? Shouldn’t she still be heartbroken? After all, she was “in love” with Ben very recently.
But now for our new couple: Ben & Lauren…
Has a more vanilla couple ever existed than Vanilla Ben & Vanilla Lauren? Don’t get me wrong, I like Ben. He’s perfect. Gorgeous, kind, fun…gorgeous. Lauren is the equivalent. And together they are magic. It’s like they were genetically engineered in a lab to be perfect people. Perhaps they were engineered by The Bachelor to be the perfect contestants. And then the perfect couple. It’s great that they’re renewing people’s hope in The Bachelor. It’s nice that they’re giving the show a good name. But it’s soooooo boring!
Yawn. Even though I was #TeamLauren I couldn’t help but feel like it was so predictable. Where’s the excitement? Some people are satisfied with a perfect Prince & Princess story but I like twists. We can’t change this now, and I’m happy Ben & Lauren are happy, but maybe, now that the show’s reputation is intact, we can have less vanilla and more flavour next season? Pretty please Producers?
Until next episode…and I guess next season… (although Tuesday Walk of Shame will still exist over the break!)
Love & Luck,