Have you ever checked what embarrassing things live in your Google Search History? You should. I promise you it is worth your while… a horrifying yet hilarious experience. I recently scrolled through the last 4 years of my internet life and found it a thoroughly accurate glimpse into who I am… which obviously meant I needed to share it with all of you. I’m not going to share the entire list (it would mean a lot of sifting through junk to find the humour) but I will give you a taste of the highs & lows, the “so very me” searches and the queries that are oh-so-embarrassing (not like that… get your mind out of the gutter!). And, at the end, I’ll give you quick ‘How To’ for getting your own search history list!
I am a curious person. It means that I Google a lot. Sometimes it’s “What are basketballs made of?“. Other times it’s “Fun Dinosaur Facts“. I always looking to learn. Some other totally legit inquiries include:
- “How many official languages does Switzerland have?”
4: German, French, Italian, Romansh - “How many keys does a standard keyboard have?”
101 or 104, depending on the manufacturer - “Names of the Lost Boys in Peter Pan”
Tootles, Nibs, Slightly, Curly & the Twins (who apparently didn’t get names) - “What is the douchiest animal?”
This is up for debate… Eagle? Buffalo? Hummingbird? Everyone has an opinion.
How about this Animal? Douchiest?
Some of my searches seem pretty random but have perfectly reasonable explanations:
- “Arkansas Zip Codes”
I was trying to sign up for something which was not offered to Canadians… obviously I chose to be from Arkansas when picking an American location and wanted to make sure the location I picked was a lovely & welcoming community. - “How does Stark Tower fit into the New York skyline?”
Justine & I were headed to NYC for a vacation & wanted to be able to spot the Avengers base… or at least where it should be. - “Offerings to appease Zeus”
After almost being struck by lightning a 3rd time I needed to figure out how to make things right with the man upstairs… I wrote a blog post about it: How To Not Be Struck By Lightning. - “What do you call tank tops with extra-large arm holes?”
Because what do you call tank tops with extra-large arm holes??? I never found a proper answer. (Let me know in the comments if you have any ideas!) - “Do I look like Prince Harry?” and “Face Comparison Online”
Remember that awful show I Wanna Marry Harry? No? Don’t worry, you’re not missing much. Girls were vying for the heart of a Prince Harry look-a-like while thinking it was actually the Prince himself. It was awful, but left me wondering how much I looked like Harry… the guy on the show was a ‘99% match’ apparently. Spoiler Alert, my resemblance to Prince Harry is weak at best… although the strongest out of any member of the My Fangirl Life Team.
I did not hate scrolling through a million pictures of Harry in order to find the perfect one… and obviously I HAD to look at a million.
Then other times I have absolutely no excuse for searching something, like my most embarrassing search: “How to take a screenshot on a Mac“. Why is it embarrassing? you ask. It seems perfectly normal. It’s not the search itself; it’s the fact that I’ve searched it at least 12 time in the last 4 years. You think I’d remember!?!?! (P.S. I Googled how to take a screenshot on a Mac AGAIN for the pictures at the end of this post.)
But I know what you’re really wondering about are my fandom searches; the questions that show I’m a real fangirl. A few of my favourites include:
- “Most Well Thought Out Pretty Little Liars Theories”
Because we all know there is still an Uber A out there controlling CeCe’s Big A. - “Edmonton Lightsaber Training”
Don’t laugh, this is a real thing in our city. - “Jurassic World Evacuation Plan”
Because there is no way someone build an amusement park with live dinosaurs on an isolated island and didn’t think through a plan of how to get everyone off (or at least to safety) should one of these ferocious beasts escape. There HAS to be a boat parked out back waiting to evacuate the poor tourists. I just wanted to know other people’s theories. - “pinkie pie cupcakes patchwork cutie marks what is this?”
A subsection of the Brony fandom I wish I’d never ventured into… - Also on the MLP front: “Nightmare Moon Hurting Ponies”
Obviously I wanted to send this to my friends. We all know KG uses Pinkie Pie pics like emojis so I wanted to respond with my ‘spirit pony’ (Luna… although more specifically Nightmare Moon) reacting in an appropriate way. - “Aaron Carter 2015”
Don’t tell me you’re not curious what the boy who beat Shaq looks like these days.
Aaron Carter. 2015. Curiosity Quenched. You’re Welcome.
And sometimes I get stuck on one fandom in particular… as the writer of Tuesday Walk of Shame this can often be The Bachelor. I have to do research for my posts; asking hard-hitting questions like:
- “Does Bachelorette Desiree have a book?“
- “Kaitlyn Bristol Net Worth“
- “Clint and JJ Couple Name“
Although if I’m getting over-involved in anything there is good chance it’s gonna be One Direction. I am apparently really nosy about 1D (And we won’t even talk about the multiple times there is just an image search for “Louis Tomlinson” with nothing related surrounding it).
- “One Direction Gossip“
- “Zayn and Louis Smoking Weed“
- “Did Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder break up?“
- “Is Liam Payne engaged?“
- “Niall Horan Girlfriend“
- “Harry Styles Death Threats“
- “One Direction Photoshoot without Zayn“
- “One Direction Hogwarts Houses“
- “What percentage of time does each member of One Direction sing?“
- “How much did Zayn have to pay to get out of One Direction mid-tour?“
But perhaps the weirdest obsession I have is searching how tall people are. Not just One Direction but everyone and any one: Harry Styles – Luke Hemmings – Tom Cruise – Taylor Swift – and my all time favourite:
- “How tall is the black guy from Maroon 5?”
This is important stuff to know guys.
You get sucked in by the “Related Searches” at the bottom and it can go on for hours.
But I promised a ‘How To‘! I’m sure at this point you are bursting with curiosity as to what your best searches of all time are. Here’s how you do it:
It’s that easy! Happy browsing & let me know some of your best queries are in the comments!
Love & Luck,
Kris
Image Sources: Animal – Prince Harry – Aaron Carter 1 2 3
