Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for The Bachelorette… because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly unromantic nerds deserve love too.
#BenforBachelor… Am I right? You all know I am right. But before we get into it, here are the highs and lows from this week’s dramatic episode:
– – – I don’t like this set up. I know I’ve said it every single recap but it remains true to this day… perhaps even truer now. Overnights & Hometowns in the same episode? Boo. Overnights split up between two separate weeks? Double Boo. I’m counting on the show to get its shit together for next season and go back to our typical, predictable flow. No one likes this change.
– – – Speaking of the no one liking things, Nick still looks like a stupid jerky beaver. That is all.
– – – I realize that drama = ratings, but this is getting ridiculous. It’s too much, even for The Bachelorette. It’s just making me hate Shawn.
So many negatives, perhaps I should be a bit more optimistic about last night’s Bachelorette…
++– Ben H could not be more adorable. His overnight was perfect. His exit was heartbreaking.
??? Kaitlyn keeps having these unneeded emotional upheaval style discussions with the men (aka Shawn… because Ben is still in the dark about everything). That’s fine, except that our Bachelorette then gets angry about how disrupted her time with them gets. I’m still #TeamKaitlyn but she needs to realize she’s digging her own hole.
+++ Shawn’s dad is the bomb. He knows what’s up with this show being ridiculous.
+++ As much as Shawn is now psychotic I still appreciate our sex-crazed Bachelorette stripping him down while in front of the camera. Yum.
– + – Nick’s mother almost makes him tolerable. I like her.
– – – Shawn’s mom “couldn’t make it”? Is that code for “refuses to be on tv” or “is not willing to participate in this farce”? If so, I like her even more than Nick’s mom.
– – – “How old is he? Because he’s still acting like a 16 year old girl.” Sick burn Shawn…
+++ Kaitlyn is the Queen of meeting the family. She’s so smooth & likeable. I’d be all, “Um… Hi… Um…” while I stared at my feet.
+++ “Best Sleepover Ever.” – Ben H
I know at this point I should be talking about overnights. Or hometowns. Or the final 2. Perhaps the drama between them. But there is something more important than Nick (obviously, everyone is more important than Nick) and Shawn… or more accurately, someone. Ben H. Ben may have left the show last night but he remains in my heart. Here is why I am Team #BenforBachelor:
– He won Kaitlyn’s heart, taking him far enough into the show to be a household name.
– He won our hearts. America (and the rest of the world who watches the show on their local providers) loves him. We all want more. And more. And more. And more.
– He won the men’s hearts. Everyone liked Ben. No one complained about him, bitched to him or talked about him behind his back. He’s a man’s man who managed to remain drama free.
– He’s totally the Bachelor brand, and a fan favourite. This season the Producers were screwed when their favourite (Britt) did not win the popular vote. We loved Kaitlyn and they had to try to appease their audience. With Ben we all get our way!
– Women will definitely apply if they have a chance with Ben… not that they ever have an issue finding crazies to compete on this show.
– He’ll be sooo romantic. Dates will be like dreams.
– Look at him! Who wouldn’t want to look at him for 2 hours every Monday for 2 months?
– And most importantly: He’s not Nick.
Until next episode…
Love & Luck,
My Fangirl Life’s Official Bachelorette Contestant Ranking:
#1 – Ben H (A+) … #BenForBachelor (Ben H or Ben Z actually)
#2 – Shawn (A-) … Why are you being so crazy?
#3 – Nick (D-) … ugh.