The Bachelor is fast approaching and we only have two weeks left to get to know his potential mates. Yes, I realize the irony of that almost being longer than he has to decide if they’ll be his future bride. Check out Part 1 and Part 2 on my countdown to premiere day for the first batches of ladies, then read on to see my thoughts on another 8 Bachelorettes (based on their bio & photo on abc’s website).
Tuesday Walk of Shame is a weekly blog series where I take a look at the newest episode of The Bachelor (or the Bachelorette or whatever spin-off is currently airing) and discuss. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for a decidedly different Bachelorette.
Because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly un-romantic nerds deserve love too.
Occupation: High School Soccer Coach
Hometown: Brownsville, KY
That shirt. I can’t. I just can’t.
And how does she try to impress a man? “Be myself. And wear a sexy yet tasteful outfit.” Does it include that shirt, because if it does…yikes.
Occupation: Guidance Counselor
Hometown: Austin, TX
I am so inspired by Kelsey. I’m not sure why… I don’t dislike her but I also don’t particularily like her. Really she’s one of those girls that could go home the first night and I’d forget she ever existed. Sorry Kelsey.
Occupation: Yoga Instructor
Hometown: Long Island, NY
Kimberly seems nice, although a bit emotional for me. “Hopeless (or hopeful) romantic. I will always believe in love. Always.” And you think you can find it on The Bachelor? Really? Sweetheart, you graduated from college with honors and seem like you have your head on straight…surely you’re able to see that this show does not have the best track record.
Occupation: Dental Assistant
Hometown: Maple Valley, WA
I don’t feel like I learned much from Mackenzie’s profile. Her answers were pretty short and to the point without a lot of personality…although not dull. I guess less is more when I’m inclined to hate everyone who chooses to take part in this. In the end it doesn’t matter because she is way too young to have given up enough to be on this show.
Occupation: Make-Up Artist
Hometown: Nashville, TN
Dear Megan, When putting select information out there in the search for a mate maybe don’t lead with how you “got way too drunk” and your date “watched [you] throw up in [your] purse.” Love Kris PS Did you not wear a shirt for your bio pic? Because it really really looks like they photoshopped your top in.
Occupation: Wedding Cake Decorator
Hometown: Provo, UT
I think Michelle is a Disney Princess. She answered all of her questions like a Disney Princess. Plus can’t you picture a Disney Princess working as a wedding cake decorator if she had to have a job? Maybe I’m just thinking this because Michelle would choose to be Giselle from Enchanted if she could be any fictional character “because she’s always happy, she makes cute clothes, animals clean her house for her, and she has a good singing voice.”
Occupation: Real Estate Agent
Hometown: Scottsdale, AZ
Nicole looks so awkward in her bio photo that I feel like I have to be nice to her. It goes with the statement “[I’d like to be] Jessica Rabbit because she is so unapologetically sexy with natural sex appeal. Would be fun to be someone so different!” I can tell that’s not you from that stance.
Occupation: Former NFL Cheerleader
Hometown: New York City
My biggest Bachelor pet peeve (even more than all the talk of ‘love’) is when they list someone’s occupation as “Former _______”. Ok, you used to be something awesome, but what are you now? Unemployed? Working at McDonalds? Yes it is nice to know some details of you lover’s past but for the most part I want to live in the present… not in some washed-up cheerleader’s glory days.
Make sure to check back next Tuesday for the next installment of contestant judging and on January 6th for my thoughts on January 5th’s premiere!
Love & Luck,