I’m starting a weekly blog series called the Tuesday Walk of Shame. In it I’m going to take a look at the newest episode of The Bachelorette (or the Bachelor when it is on again) and discuss. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.
Vote Kris for a decidedly different Bachelorette.
Because socially anxious, kinda bitchy, hopelessly un-romantic nerds deserve love too.
I’m just squeaking this Tuesday Walk of Shame in on this Tuesday. A power outage put me 24 hours behind on my Bachelorette viewing…oh the suspense waiting to see who would get a hometown date! But the douchebag-ery in the second half of the episode was worth the wait 😉 Let’s run through the highs & lows before we move on to the main event:
– I love Belgium! It’s one of my favourite countries I’ve ever visited.
– “I’m glad you’re a good eater” I’m right there with you Andi. This is a date I could get behind. Andi & Marcus ate more in their single one-on-one than all the Bachelorettes have on all of the seasons put together.
– “This is a man.” Yes Andi, we get it…you know men vs women. It annoys me that she says this so often…and usually when the guy is pawing at her. I think the difference between a boy and a man is confidence & chivalry. Yes a guy trying to jump her bones is a showing of confidence…but a man subtly touching you back to show you he’s there but not be too intrusive is much more respectful. Respect is sexy. For the record I’m not saying I wouldn’t make out with Marcus pressed up against a 14th century stone wall in a Belgian alley. I would totally do that. Marcus is hot…and you know, has a great personality…But that moment would not be the one that defines him as a “Man” for me. Perhaps I just think of “Man” as a short form of Gentleman.
– Nick is a douche. Called it right from the start. You can check it out here…I never liked him.
– Nick is a clever douche. Tricking the hotel staff into giving him a key to Andi’s room was awfully conniving. However this is terrifying for anyone hoping not to have a serial killer let themselves into their room at night. After the men did their “this hotel is so grand and amazing” commercial spiel (that is apparently a customary thing now) this lapse in security makes me rethink if I’d ever stay there.
– Speaking of terrifying: a Goose Parade. This is literally my WORST NIGHTMARE. The only thing that could be worse would be a Swan Parade (I have a fear of large water fowl…just fyi). **Shudder**
– Yes Andi, Nick sneaking to see you is breaking the rules. Don’t reward it. But I’ve ranted about this before…read my rant here.
– Having a date on consecrated ground seems like a stellar way to dissuade the men from touching me.
Josh & Nick have been very honest about their hatred of Group Dates. Nick makes no effort to be friendly with the other Men. Some people might appreciate their honesty. Some might agree with the competitive nature behind it. I am not ‘some people.’ I do not find their antisocial behaviour at all endearing.
Lets start with the Group Date conundrum. Yes, Group Dates are not an ideal situation. It is awkward to be dating in parallel with others, and worse when that is being shoved in your face as those dates are happening simultaneously. You don’t want your direct competition around when you are trying to win that special someone’s heart. But, as cliché as it sounds, a woman is not a trophy to be won; she is a person to woo and endear yourself to. I don’t want a hunk trying to get me by pushing others down. I want to see him being him, and if that is someone I want to be with then so be it. Group Dates show that a man can roll with the punches and be his charming self in any situation. I like spending time with my friends. We would have to spend time with them together without being joined at the hip. I never want to be a PDA-filled, have-to-be-together, cannot-be-separated-ever kind of couple. They are the worst. PDA makes me uncomfortable.
Speaking on my friends, many of mine are male. Group Dates and house social interactions prove my winner could handle me spending time with these other gentlemen. He has to be ok with that…even if I decide to spontaneously nuzzle the neck of another man (as I’ve been known to do). Friendships are important. Which brings me to: I would take inter-contestant friendships very seriously. If a fellow can bond with a bro in this weirdly competitive circumstance he will definitely be able to make up for my social anxiety in people-filled situations. And if he can handle how little we see one another and how much time I spend with different guys, he should be equipped to handle all of the relationships I maintain with fictional heartthrobs. Really the Bachelorette would prepare a man quite nicely for our future together.
Bye Bye Dylan! I will miss your awkward moments. Congrats on making it much farther than I ever expected you would after your ‘most-awkward-introduction-ever’ in the first episode. You probably would have made my Top 3, as you were the only contestant socially impaired enough to ‘get me.’
Brian, I literally forgot he was even on the show untuil they read the Group Date card. Oops.
See below for my new Definitive Ranking.
Love & Luck,
Here is my Post-E07 Definitive Ranking:
1. Chris Harrison – I could have used a bit more of him this week.
2. Marcus – He used the dreaded L-word a lot this week, but as long as he did it in ‘confessionals’ and not to me (as breaking Rule #1: No using the L-word is a stripping-of-your-rose worthy offense) all would have been good.
3. Chris – So charming. Sooooooo charming.
4. Josh M. – He’s growing on me, especially because he opened up to Andi this week. I wouldn’t care if he opened up to me (feelings are the worst) but she wanted it so bad that him putting her mind at ease made him more likeable.
5. Nick V. – Nick is the worst. He’s a jerk. And he’s not even a fun jerk. Cocky asshole can be fun. Smug condescending asshole is not.